The Tortoise and the (knitted) Fox
Do you have any projects you start but never finish? Have you ever noticed a pattern around that in your life? It’s a thought I have been focusing on lately.
What I have learned during the process of knitting a fox is:
When I am not engaged in the present moment,
time will inevitably drag on eternally.
The idea of knitting is something that I find extremely attractive. I see a beautiful hat or a great nordic sweater filled with reindeer and snowflakes and I instantly feel the urge to
buy the wool
Until very recently I would do that, too. Which leads one to think that I must have an overflowing pile of gorgeous hand knitted garments, blankets, tea cosies, and soft toys. I don’t. Until recently I barely had anything that was finished when it came to knitting. I wasn’t even aware of that snag in my relationship with knitting until I started cleaning and organizing my craft boxes while on a “break” from my most current knitting project; a playful looking fox dressed in a linen stitch coat complete with knitted purse. My wool pile was big, beautiful, bright, and did I mention BIG.
I could only wonder how it happened. Seeing the results of my behaviour pattern made me curious to discover what was going on in my brain and what was the attraction to starting new projects.
I realized I was more attracted to the idea of something I made by hand than the process of actually making it.
With every stitch I heard my inner voice saying:
I’m not done yet
I’M STILL NOT done yet
I’M NOT done
I tried to say the same thing in a positive way but the voice only changed to:
I’m almost done
If we only ever feel “almost”, we will never be whole. The idea of focusing on the end project made the intention limiting - there wasn’t any way to put a positive spin on that.
I only felt a sense of relief and ease when my thought process changed to:
I am knitting
I AM knitting
I disconnected from the idea of the finished project and reconnected with the process in order to be completely present with the project.
I am now applying that same attitude to other areas of my life which will most likely be a lifelong practice.